Victim Blaming

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What is Victim Blaming

Victim blaming is when someone suggests that the person who was harmed by a crime is somehow responsible for what happened. Victims feel like they’re being treated as if they’re guilty. Many people don’t realise they have victim blamed. It can be outright, or subtle. Blame can be suggesting that the victim was at fault, or implying they had the power to prevent it:

"You should know not to leave anything in your car overnight."

"Are you sure you didn’t do something to provoke him? He seems like a nice guy.”

“You should have known better than to trust them.”

It is deeply hurtful for victims when those closest to them, such as family and friends, who they expect to support them during difficult times, blame them instead.

Why would anyone blame a loved one who was victimised by crime? Victim blaming is a way of protecting our belief that the world is a place where people get what they deserve. It’s a way to shield ourselves from believing it could ever happen to us. The fear of further victim blaming can prevent the victim from seeking support and going to the police. Over half of the people in the research said that victim blaming would deter them from reporting future crimes.

Victim blaming perpetuates a cycle of silence and suffering. Victims deservesupport, not condemnation.Whether it's after aburglary, an online scam, an assault – or any type of crime – how we respond tovictims can make or break their recovery.

Change the script on victim blaming

We call on Aotearoa to change the script on victim blaming.

‍Tell the victim it’s not their fault. Crime happens because of criminals, not victims. Your response could be a crucial step in their recovery and give them the confidence to seek justice. Let’s end victim blaming.
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Does it really matter what I say?

If victims risk being blamed, they are less likely to seek support and report crime. If they can’t trust those closest to them, why would they trust the justice system?
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Victim blaming silences victims, therefore potentially keeping victims and others in unsafe situations because the perpetrator is not being held accountable. It takes a lot of courage to report crime (only 28% of crime is reported in NZ), and the wellbeing of our communities relies on people feeling safe to do so.

Many victims from our research described being previously outgoing, but being blamed has left them isolated and a “shell” of their former selves. Some even said that victim blaming was worse than the crime itself.

Here are examples of what not to say:
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"It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have put yourself in this situation.”

"Are you sure that’s what happened? It sounds like you might be exaggerating or misremembering things."

"Are you sure you’re not overreacting to a harmless joke?"

Your words have power. Your response can make or break the victim’s recovery. Listen without judgement and tell them it’s not their fault.
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Anyone can be victim blamed

Victim blaming perpetuates a cycle of silence and suffering. When victims are blamed by those closest to them, they lose their usual support networks, leading to prolonged recovery and isolation. Blame can also breed distrust; if the first trusted person they confide in blames them, they may doubt that others, including the justice system, will support them. Victims often feel that justice is served only when they are believed. Even years later, victims may have recovered from the crime, but the lasting impact of 'blame shame' can persist, even if the offender has been found guilty and imprisoned.
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How victim blaming affects the victim of a crime

Our research makes it clear that victim blaming isn’t just a problem for female victims or victims of certain crimes. It cuts across all genders, crime types, ages and communities. Victim blaming can affect anyone and it can come from anyone.
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Your response can help them recover

The first person a victim confides in, and how they respond, can determine whether the victim feels safe to report the crime and seek help, or whether they suffer in silence for fear of being blamed again. Saying "It’s not your fault" can be the first step in a victim's recovery. Take the time to reflect on how you might respond to someone who confides in you as it may be the only time the victim reaches out. Your words have power, and what you say matters a lot. Tell them it’s not their fault.
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Victim blaming Key Findings Report

To learn more about victim blaming in New Zealand and its impact on crime victims, read our detailed short report. This report presents key findings from our research and highlights the critical need for change in how we support and understand victims.