New research reveals urgent need for Aotearoa to change the script on victim blaming

Our new research exposes a troubling culture of victim blaming in Aotearoa New Zealand – and it’s our family and friends most likely to do it.

Through in-depth interviews with 31 victims of crime, we discovered that victim blaming doesn’t discriminate. Victim blaming is often portrayed in relation to rape myths (“What were you wearing?”) and family violence myths (“Why didn’t she just leave?”).

Our study makes it clear that victim blaming isn’t just a problem for female victims or victims of certain crimes. It cuts across all genders, crime types, ages and communities. Victim blaming can affect anyone and it can come from anyone. Even those closest to us.

“You’re a victim of a crime, but you are almost made to feel like the offender of the crime.”

So what is victim blaming?

Victim blaming is when someone suggests that the person who was harmed by a crime is somehow responsible for what happened. Victims feel like they’re being treated as if they’re guilty.

• “If you’d been more careful, you could’ve avoided this whole thing.”
• "Are you sure you didn’t do something to provoke him? He seems like a nice guy.”
• "Why would you click on that link? It was clearly a scam."

Mel, a victim who participated in the research, shared how being blamed made her feel: “You’re a victim of a crime, but you are almost made to feel like the offender of the crime.”

Whether it's after a burglary, an online scam, an assault – or any type of crime – how we respond to victims can make or break their recovery.

Why do people blame the victim?

Most of us may think we would never blame our loved ones for a crime against them. But our tendency to do this can happen on a subconscious level.

Dr Petrina Hargrave, who led the research for Victim Support, refers to international studies on the reasons why we might jump to blame the victim.

“As humans, we’re wired to protect ourselves,” says Dr Hargrave. “By believing victims are responsible for their own misfortunes, we reassure ourselves that such things couldn't happen to us.”

“People probably don’t realise they’re victim blaming, as they rarely come out and say ‘it was your fault.’ But they say things that suggest the victim was at fault, such as ‘why were you out so late on your own?’, or ‘why didn’t you just leave?’, and ‘Why didn’t you report it sooner?’.”

Victims feel that if they can’t trust those closest to them, then who can they trust?

“It’s also fuelled by harmful stereotypes, particularly about marginalised groups.” Dr Hargrave continues.

The research showed that Māori, Rainbow and disabled groups, who are disproportionately affected by crime, experience compounding harm when they’re blamed. For example, victims who have mental health issues, may be blamed through gaslighting. One of the victims, Ilimaliota, shared their experience: "They have told these people who are abusing me that I’ve got a mental problem. And so now these people will use that. Part of the abuse is about my disability."

How bad can a few comments be?

If someone you loved was hurt by a crime, they might come to you for support.

It’s easy for our concern to lead us to question the victim: “Why did you leave your things in the car?” or “I told you so many times it was bad news. Why didn’t you listen?”.

These responses, perhaps coming from a place of genuine concern, put the onus on the victim. This is victim blaming, and it’s harmful.

Our research revealed that victims are most commonly blamed by their own friends and family (61%).

“It is deeply hurtful for victims when those closest to them, who they expect will support them during their most difficult times, blame them instead,” Dr Hargrave says.

This can lead to the breakdown of key relationships and support networks. Victims feel that if they can’t trust those closest to them, then who can they trust?

Your words have power. Listen without judgement and tell them it’s not their fault.

Many research participants described being previously outgoing and “a sharer”, but being blamed has left them isolated and a “shell” of their former selves.

Victim blaming silences victims, therefore potentially keeping victims and others in unsafe situations because the perpetrator is not being held accountable.

The fear of being blamed further can prevent the victim from seeking support and going to the police. 52% of people in the research said that victim blaming would deter them from reporting future crimes.

“It takes a lot of courage to report crime,” Dr Hargrave comments. “Only 28% of crime is reported in New Zealand, and the safety of our communities relies on people feeling safe to report crime.”

“Some victims even said that victim blaming was worse than the crime itself.”

We all must change the script on victim blaming

The victims in our research have called for change, and at Victim Support that call is heard.

Victim blaming perpetuates a cycle of silence and suffering. Victims deserve support, not condemnation.

We are asking Aotearoa to change the script on victim blaming.    

We all need to ask ourselves how we’d choose to respond if a family member, friend, neighbour or colleague confided in us that they had been a victim of crime.

If someone confides in you after they’ve been victimised, remember: Crime happens because of criminals. It is never the victim's fault.

Your words have power. Listen without judgement and tell them it’s not their fault. Your response could be a crucial step in their recovery and give them the confidence to seek justice.

You can change the script. By ending victim blaming, we aim to encourage more victims to come forward and report crimes, ultimately contributing to safer communities for everyone.

Learn more about victim blaming: www.victimsupport.org.nz/victim-blaming